Winter Calm

Playing around with the camera at 1 in the morning, I really like this.

We got that holiday feelin'...

   I'm so happy that the holidays are coming up, Christmas time is my favourite time of the year. The music, the movies, the decorations, and most importantly being with my family. Plus having my birthday the 23rd of December helps me like this month even more. The day after Thanksgiving we put up the tree and decorate the house. We blast Christmas music and sing as loud as possible. I mean I listen to holiday music all year round, but now it's on the radio 24/7 so I'm very pleased.
   This year Christmas is very different though, since it will be the first Christmas with my step family. I really do wish we were both back in our seperate homes celebrating xmas. I don't like this change. It just doesn't feel the same. And people will be like it's cause your older now, but that's not why. It's cause these people I have to share this with don't feel the same way about the holidays like me and my mother. And this big home doesn't feel loving, it feels big, empty, and lonely. I miss my small condo where it was just me, my brother and sister and mom. Things were good then.

Just doin my job

For the holidays I'm going to be taking photos for all my sister's friends. They have little babies, so cute! I can't wait to photograph them. I'm trying to build up my portfolio, which is non exist at this point. Haha. One day I hope to be a photographer and open my own studio. I want to specialize in new born photos and pregnancy photos. I just think it's something beautiful to capture. It's like their first real photos. They don't even no the world yet, their just new and pure. And photos of pregnant women are beautiful, like to do it with their husband or even their kids. It's just special and something they can look back at and remember. I did some photos recently of just when I was with my aunt's neighbors. I got shots from when we were all outside, here...

aw sisterly love =]

Baby Taylor aww

Abby just chillin on the trampoline

I can't wait to do more, I get to do their christmas photos with their other sister who was playing when I shot these along with their two dogs! I'm so excited, wish me luck!

real men buy flowers

I just read this article, The concept was so great, and well written, I laughed a few times and felt moments of "aww".
READ IT :-)
Why real men DO buy women flowers

I've only got flowers once in my life from a guy, it was so sweet. I wasn't expecting it at all. It really does put a smile on a girls face. Most women love knowing that a guy is thinking of them and is sweet enough to get her flowers, it's something simple to show you care. Oh love is such a sweet thing.

Also I hate roses, any type, give me sunflowers [my fav] or wild flowers, anything colorful and beautiful.

Has anyone ever gotten you flowers, any particular reason or just a sweet surprise? :]

Save the drama for your mama

Serisously. I'm 18 and out of school, I don't need little high school girl drama running a muck in my life. Thats the reason I barely have friends that are girls, I don't like girls very much. The only friends in this silly world I love the most, are in fact guys. They never have drama, atleast the people I hang with. It's so nice to just sit and joke around with them instead of hearing some girls fighting over nothing.

I hate girls who just turn sixteen trying to start drama all up in my household between me and my stepsister who is nineteen. The youngin really needs to grow up and be a little mature, just cause she drinks and smokes weed all the time doesn't make you a adult. In fact, cause you think that makes you cool shows how immature you really are. I'm so done with you. Note the reason for being an 'ex' best friend. I deserve a good friend like I've always been, So if she doesn't mind, stay out of my life and especially out of my house, I'm so over you. hahaaa

ugh girls.

Fairy tales...

Sometimes fairy tales aren't like the books or the movies, but maybe, just maybe, their something more.
I'm not saying I don't like the whole prince charming thing but I like when the guy is a little more human and relatable. Not where I'm the damsel in distress. I want to be more of someone they can lean on as well. I want to be needed and loved, not some girl who can't take care of herself. Being needed makes you feel like your making a difference in someone's life when you help them out with their problems or just make the smile that day when your both bored. I don't need fancy ball gowns, royal dances, no kings and queens, or white horses. All I need is someone who will make me happy and except me for who I am.
Life is beautiful even with all the flaws that come with love and life. You just have to get through it and it makes your relationship even stronger and more meaningful. I've never been in love, but when it happens I want it to be real, not just another story.

Destiny?

Destiny is what controls are lives. I believe in soul mates. But I was never lucky to find mine. Now I realize I didn't need to be looking, fate will find me. If you look for something, it's planed and it just won't work, it has to just happen. Out of no where. That's how you know its real. Now I understand.
That why when I thought I found someone, I was wrong. Love happens by chance, maybe when your not even looking for it. Running into one another when passing through a small door, or happen to be reading the same book at a cafe, Maybe it's all about the timing. If I met him a week earlier I would have been unavailable, if a week later maybe he wouldn't have been there. Destiny, love, soul mates, fate it's all about that.
It's just about the right time and place for something to happen.

Movies can make my life so clear.

I am new

The steam is dancing up slowly,
The water tickles my skin ever so gently.
I'm exposing every flaw,
yet I feel so beautiful.
Hair untangles thoughts around suds,
Finger tips massage all the emotions around.
Soap cleansing the soul,
I am fresh.
I am new.

I wrote this little poem after taking a shower, haha. Showers hold something really special to me, weird to say. It's the only place I don't hide how I feel. When I'm sad, I'll cry all I want, sit on the floor and I won't be bothered. When I'm feeling happy, I play the music loud and sing my heart out. The shower makes me feel I can get a fresh start, start over. I wash away all the bad and it can make everything better. I love to shower :]

Running Away from Depression with you...

Grab your things. We're leaving, now.

There is nothing here for us anymore, can't you see? Here. It's torn us apart. No, not the people. Ourselves is what has done this. Our minds have gone sour and decaying in our thoughts.

Depression is killing us, why do you let it?

We could be happy. Together. Just push those things away, the things that say you have to be alone.
Miserable. Miserable. Miserable.

No, not anymore.
We have to run, far away from this pain. Find happiness. Find love. Find what we've always wanted. Isn't it what you wanted?

Or did you tell yourself, you can't handle this? It's too much for you, to push away those feelings. The ones that ruin us, that ruin me, that ruin you.

Pack, quickly. We're running out of time. The hate we have for ourselves is trying to take over. Hope is fading. Don't let it, please I beg you.

Let's go, and fast.