Once a night, I see you.

   In my dreams, even if for a split second, your beautiful face appears. Sometimes it's a replay of summer when we were close, a time we had together, laughing and joking, making videos and taking pictures. You telling me some crazy story and me just nodding my head and saying "righhht". Then sometimes it's every time we had a conflict [basically are whole relationship in the end, over a stupid friend who didn‘t matter] and you were screaming at me or causing drama in the house. And I wake up so upset and hate that's the last time I ever saw you. It seems like something you'd see in a movie, a huge fight before someone dies, then everyone regrets it or thinks it's their fault. But apparently these things can happen in real life, apparently they can happen to me.


   Other times it's something completely made up in my head. Where you're still alive, it was all a joke, haha just so funny, to make everyone sad and miss you, just one of the many crazy things you did, so every ones attention would be on you. Except that time you went to far, you pretended you killed yourself. I start yelling at you and saying how stupid you were for doing that to everyone who loves you, my hands gripped on your arms trying to shake the sense into you, I cry as I'm telling you I don't care whatever happened and I pull you in close for a hug and then you ball your eyes out and hug me back and say you're sorry. Then everything becomes okay, cause you're alive. You're here in my arms. But then... I wake up and it's reality again, you're still gone. It wasn't just a dumb joke, thinking you had us all going, you really did it. Like you said.

   Sometimes I wish when you said the crazy things you said, you said it more serious, not joking. Maybe then we would of believed you. Maybe we could of stopped you. Maybe if you didn't pretend a thousand times before, it wouldn't have been a little girl who cried suicide, just the girl who wants all eyes on her, the dramatic one. Maybe you wouldn't have really done it. And maybe you'd still be here.

   Other times I blame myself or her. Thinking, what if we had still been close, you were so much more happier then. Everyone saw a difference in the house, you were just a normal girl with your feisty personality and spunk. You weren't perfect, but no one in this house is, you were dealing with your problems, as was all of us crazies. Then you drifted back to more drinking and smoking. And where was I? Crying and upset, we could of saved each other. From our own depressions. Instead we stayed separate. And here I am... alone.

   And maybe you're finally truly happy. But I don't know, things could have been different. But for now I'll just see you in the night. And stop thinking what if...

Rest in peace my dear sister, you'll always be in my heart.

Singing loud for all to hear

Singing in a car with your best friend is probably one of the best things to do. You feel free to be so goofy and weird, it just makes you happy and in a better mood. You dance around using your hands and sing songs that are rediculously old or funny. And you definitely don't only sing in your good voice, you have to shout/scream to rock songs and sound like man when you believe in life after love [when singing Cher that is]. We always end up pointing and serenading to other drivers. They love it... of course. Sorry this is a short blog, but that's all I wanted to say :]

This has nothing to do with singing in a car, but OMG how cute is he :]

She's a dayy tripper

   Man, oh man, I love day trips. Their one of my favorite things to do, especially when it's nice weather out! I like when you just get in the car and go.  Weither it's to a random place or a certian destination. I just grab my camera and blast the music loud and it's wonderful! You really can make alot of memories and see tons of cool or unqiue things. I went on a few day trips over this past week. And I can't wait to go on so many more.
    I went down by the shore looking out into the ocean for the first time this year. It was a bit chilly, but still beautiful. I even stood in the water for a min haha, any longer would have made my feet numb! Then I went to cute little towns and walked around with my dad, such cute shops! I love antique shopping. I want to go so many this summer.
    Then the other day I went to New London to the boardwalk with my friend. [Note: don't wear a dress yet! it's cold and windyyy] We got some nice shots though and went backroads home, through random towns I never heard of. Didn't really know if we were going the right way, just kinda kept driving straight, but we made it home safe. But in one of the towns we passed a covered bridge! So we stopped and explored it and took tons of pictures. It was beautiful! Those are so rare to see now a days. So I'm glad we got to pass it! It was a fabulous day and I can't wait to find more random places around CT.

These are a few of my favorite things

-Dogs dreaming
-Fuzzy and crazy socks
-Strangers smiling and be happy
-Babies giggling
-Hearts and smilies via internet
-Dresses twirling
-Old family photos
-Silly painted nails
-Picture taking adventures

smilesmilesmile

I'm feeling happy, strange I know. I feel as though things are going right, for once. Also I hope oh so much I can start hairdressing school Tuesday!! If my stupid finacial aid finally goes through [dumb fasfa] or else I have to wait till September! Mama mia. I can NOT wait that long. Wish for me, everyone, that it does and I can start! I need to do stuff! Also going to sign up for driving school as soon as I find out my plans Tuesday about school. I can't wait! I've been so proud of myself lately, and I feel like if I don't start school, I'm going to feel like a loser, once again. I know it won't be my fault but still!

I've decided

to make a book of my family tree. One day I won't have anyone to ask, so I'll need it to record everything I can about where people are from and who they were and what were they doing. Its good stuff to know. I got alot of information today! I can't wait to get started on making a scrapbook type thing. Funfun!

me, my brother Joe and my sister Dina

I'm going to start the family tree up from us :]

Travel Goals :]

Here is is not in any praticular order. :]


*World Travels other then United States*
-Collect sand from Egypt near pyramids. [sled down a sand doom too!]
-Don't steal brick from Colosseum, like Dad did, when in Rome and don't forget to visit the homeland, Calabria!
-Travel along the Great Wall and see how far you can get.
-Get the prefect photo of the Taj Mahal, if the photo comes out bad you fail =P
-Find one toga party while in Greece.
-Spend a week just relaxing at a beach that is apart of the Mediterranean Sea, and sail on a boat for the day too!
-In England, get picture wearing plaid pants in front of a double decker bus, it's a MK & A thing. Haha.
-Visit all my nationalities
-Italy
-Poland
-Ireland
-France
-Canada

*United States to do's*
-Work in at least 15 U.S. States
-Visit at least 30 U.S. Stated
-Couch Surf
-Get joke photo of falling into The Grand Canyon.
-Get as many photos of famous people when in Cali
-Go to North Carolina to see where my fav author lives, and where all her books take place.


*Just a goals for anywhere it can happen*
-Standing in two places at once. Photos are a must!!!

Two different hemispheres
   -Along the Prime Meridian in England
   -Along the Equator in Africa
Two different continents at once
   -That leaves me with being in Russia!? Haha. or maybe go to the canal that seperates Egypt and Asia? and use the boat to let me be in both!
Two different countries
   -Yippie for Canada and the U.S.
Two different States
   -Everytime I switch a U.S. State their will be a photo!
Two different towns
   -Only one photo of me and my home town and my old town, haha or it would be pure madness!

Life.

is good.

My dog agrees.