Why? Cause it'll make me feel better.
I have been sickeningly depressed. All because of switching my medicine. I changed my meds end of September so I could take one that dissolves right on my tongue. But that was a HUGE mistake. Obviously.
No, I'm not single and broken hearted. I'm still madly in love with my wonderful boyfriend, Sean, and we live together now. All that part of my life is good. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about being alone. Friendless. And anyone who reads this that thinks they are my friend, just needs to realize, that in fact that just couldn't be. On account of, they never see me, they never want to hang out. Why would they, they all have their own best friends and their own lives, that's all they need.
So where do I fit in to all this? I really do try, try to make new friends with girls that seem to have the same interests as me or just seem cool. But everyone already has their friends so they don't have room for me, or time for that matter. I think I am nice, friendly, fun, and silly and sometimes can be cool. But it just never matters, I'll always be the girl with no friends. Who sits at home almost every night of her life. After high school ended I realized I never really had that many friends to begin with. I wanted to be friends with everyone so I never spent enough time with one person to form that long lasting friendship bond with.
Everyone I know has had that one best friends or that group of people they have been friends with since forever. And I, I have had no one. While my boyfriend has guy nights with his buddy. I have snuggle time with the dog and watch t.v. shows, the only happiness is when I live through the characters and their lives.
I just want that person I can have stupid inside jokes with. Hang out with like every other day just so we can see each other and talk about whatever. Head out to a fun party. Go shopping for no reason just cause we love clothes and shoes. Call and text each other stupid stuff. Go see chick flicks with terrible actors. Have girl nights were we get dressed up for no reason other then were bored. I just miss having a girl to talk to, gossip with, talk about my damn feelings with.
I just don't want to feel like this for the rest of my life. Ya know? Being alone sucks. Being depressed sucks. That's all I can say. I just didn't think I'd be that person, the one with no life.
-Christina
