Hey everyone,
2 weeks ago was really bad for me. It seemed like everything was going wrong. I was so down then so up. I cried and had panic attacks every single day. And the worst panic attacks were at night when I'm falling asleep and all I do is think. At least durning the day you get distracted.
I had gone to my medicine doctor and my sister said to her that I still was down a lot. So Dr. Jackie prescribed me an additional medication to my already lamotrigine for my bipolar which I take a high dosage of. Plus I take lorazepam for my anxiety. So anyway... this new medication messed up my brain like crazy. I was nuts when I was on it! I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital. I took it 3 days then I stopped. I had also been doing really bad with taking my medicine everyday. So I also started do my other meds and I think it was just too much!
So that was one reason why my week went bad. the second reason was I was made fun of to my face and was too stupid to realize till afterword. I thought they liked me and were being funny, but turns out they were mocking me. You know how in high school when the popular guy sits next to the "nerd" in the classroom and is all "oh dude I like that shirt, you're so cool, were going to hang out, right?!" with their dumb smirks... But there just saying it to be jerks. And the poor kid thinks they like him. Well, that was me. I just couldn't believe it.
It's pretty much the most embarrassing thing. To not even know.
This was the same week my sister was moving into her new home. So I was out everyday busy painting and do a bunch of moving boxes and setting things up. I felt overwhelmed and one second I was bailing my eyes in her bathroom crying about the bullies then a second later I was having a blast and singing to music. Then switched moods again, and again, and again. I thought I was loosing my mind.
Eventually as I started getting back to my regular brain chemicals from stopping the new medicine I slowly started feeling better. I was still very upset about the bullying. I'm not in high school anymore and it's like I'm 24, this shouldn't be happening at my age?!
I'm a lot better since the whole ordeal but still mad about the situation. But it's going to be okay. Not going to let it affect me anymore!
-Christina
