Relay For Life Event!

Hi everybody!!!

   So basically I had the funnest time at the event! "A World Of Hope" was the theme this year. I have never done anything like this for. I have donated to causes and been to fundraisers but I have never actually participated in a giant event like this. After a lot of anxiety these last 2 weeks, I'm so happy to have such a fun and social day. I got to go early with my friend Kayla to set up and bring things to the location, a popular park in our town. We only saw a few people in the morning. I love being early to do stuff. It's just my thing. Plus I picked the theme less then two weeks. I only found out then about it. I'm glad Kayla told me about it. We were doing Team Chainsaw, for my bestie, Alex. Our theme was Bollywood, everyone liked my idea so we all started the planning process. I basically did all the decoration part. I'm such a dummy, I forgot to do a DIY for it, haha! Oh well. We did mehndi (henna) styled designs on our all our shirts. I think mine came out pretty good! I liked the font I chose, the A's came out cool! Everyone did a great job on theirs also.

Team Chainsaw, holding Chainsaw aka Alex.

   The had all different things going on and all the teams had their own booths. We stole Sean's job's Flight's tent thingy, Thanks Babers for that! The open ceremony Kayla sang the national anthem. She did a fantastic job! We also got to see all these kids from the elementary school sings a song, I don't remember the name but it was in spanish about friendship. It was adorable! They even did French and American Sign Language in the song too! I couldn't even pass Italian, not to mention sing in another language! Then the MC thanked the people who put it together. They do a survivor speech every year, the women who read was an amazing person and we got to hear her story and what she had to face. They had a few people come up and talk about the organization and other things related. Even gave out two awards. One was for the photographer! He was taking the pictures of them announcing it then was so surprised he got an award! He has been at the event every year and is a survivor of cancer too. It was a lovely opening to the event and I felt so lucky to be able to participate in it.

This event was an over night event. Started at 5pm and went all the way to 7am! So crazy. I left at 11:30pm though. At the beginning of the actual walking around the track, the first have a survivor lap, then it's a survivor/caretakers lap then finally the team laps! As the survivors walked around ever person their joined hands around it. I've never been apart of such an amazing thing. The love and support we all showed was incredible! It just shows when people get together you can make a difference. Alex walked around the track with her mom, her mother is seriously the cutest. She was so happy to walk around with her daughter. She totally deserves it. SHe does so much for Alex. Every week they go up to the Boston, MA area for her acupuncture. It really did help her. Alex's tumor shrunk a little bit!!!

Kayla and Alex's mothers

   Then the event officially began! There was this hilarious jail that one of the booths had. You could put a person in there for 5 minutes or even 20! Michela (Sean's cousin) put Andrew (Sean's bestie) in there for 10 minutes and the prisoners have to hold out buckets and beg for money as walkers go buy. If they make the amount of their time they can become free! Such a creative idea. Kayla put Chris in there for tricking her that Sean got fired (My Babers was really on vacation for a week!) She defiantly got him back good!

So sad! Andrew finally was set free, he had a bunch of little kids stuck in there with him, hahaha! 

Kayla finally got Chris back!

   Our booth we had candle jars to decorate for $7. Massages a $1 a minute by Allen's (Kayla's BF) mom. And when Nazly (team member) got there at 8pm she did the henna for $5. All money went to our teams donation. I had a such a good time hanging out with everyone, we had tents for people to take sleep breaks in and there was food being sold. ANdrew brought a mini grill and burgers/dogs so we all had something to eat. He even picked up veggie burgers so I could have something too. I brought the chips and Kayla brought tons of drinks and water bottles for all of us.

   Around 10:30pm they did the Luminaria Ceremony which where we hold a candle around the lap in memory of who we lost to cancer. It was beautiful, but we had trouble keeping it lit because of the wind. It took team work to keep it going! We only had one candle because they ran out of them! AT the end of the lap they do a slideshow. People submitted photos of their loved ones who've passed and some were in honor of survivors. People were tearing up, it was so emotional. I even was tearing up. The kids came back up to sing a song while it played. After that slideshow they actually did a 2015 event slideshow. They did awesome putting it together so quick. I made the cut! Haha!

 Alex, Rachel, and Kayla. And below our all the people walking around.

Here are some extra pictures I took of all of us!

Me, Alex, and Chris. Our bestie rap album cover pose. And then a pic of Alex and Her mom, they are so sweet! Below is us seflie-ing it up! Haha!

Chris, Andrew in the back, Alex, Rachel and me . Then last row was Nazly, Meg, and Kayla. Then Juan of course had to do sexy pose in the front. We had an awesome team!

If you haven't done anything like this I highly recommend it! You will feel good about helping others and you'll have a blast doing it!

Love, Christina

Here is a extra pics... selfie life. Haha! Oh well... 

Hiking Is Good For the Soul.

I did it!

   Yesterday, I made it to the top of the mountain! I have not had a real hike in so long. I was exhausted and had to take a lot of breaks. Thankfully Sean and our friend Andrew were super nice and understood. There also was a light breeze that day so that was awesome because it was hot! I was sweating and probably smelled by the end, haha! But it was worth it. Such a beautiful view of the trees for miles and a lake/river down below. I really needed this, I truly did. After the weeks filled with anxiety it felt so good to finally leave the house. In the first 20 minutes I had already regretted tagging along at all. But by the top when we sat down and relaxed on the cliff and I got to see that magnificent view I instantly felt better. Then we had to walk back, which I hated, haha! But we did it! After two and a half hours, we made it back to the car. I had leaves and dirt in my shoes, my hair was a disaster and honestly I felt bad for anyone who had to look at it! The car ride back with the breeze flowing through the windows was so sweet. We stopped at the gas station on our way home and I of course I got a little ice cream... not such a  healthy choice after exercising. Oh well, ya only live once! As the youngins say "YOLO"!

 Andrew climbing on the cliff, he looks close to the edge then he was, though I didn't attempt, I'm good on that life. Below if my stunning view!!!

Different angle of my view.

Take an adventure soon and just enjoy the view of nature. It's breathtaking, it really is.

Love always,

Christina

Quote Of The Day

Today...

I was happy.

   No anxiety or weird mood. It's been a week or so since I've felt good. And tomorrow, I will wake up with a positive attitude. I will go out and enjoy the day.

Selfie Saturday

Sometime's I like to pretend I'm cool... is it working?

Road trip!

Hi everyone!

   Took a little road trip to see Emily with Sissybear and Cousinbear, Marisa. Not too long of a drive though. So that was good. We went to Brattleboro, which is right on the border of New Hampshire! At the restaurant we went to it is literally right on the line of the two states! So while were sitting on the deck of the restaurant we were admiring the beautiful view of NH. Seriously is was gorgeous, the mountains covered in green trees. Loved it! We also went to the cute little shops their, it was very hispter, haha filled with trendy hispters walking about.

Cute smore crochets in one of the shop and a picture of Emily's Bacon bloody mary. She ordered it just so I can take a picture for the boyfriend to see! Haha. Below it the restaurant, Whetstone Stations Restaurant and Brewery.

Marisa and I selfieing it up and the cute mason jar from the water station on the deck, too adorable! And below Vermont Looking at New Hapmshire!

It was a good trip, hope you had a good day too!
- Christina

The river....

"She said that the biggest fish in the river gets that way by never being caught."

- Big Fish

 Sunrise before I went boating, taken 5 years ago!

Two love birds so beautiful flying in peace at 7 in the morning.

I can't wait to go boating this summer with my sissybear, Dina and soon to be brotherbear Odie. This was taken 5 years ago. Way too long!

Have a relaxed day,

- Christina

Way Back Wednesday

I've always loved this picture
- Christina

Television

Hey,

  Sometimes, I will spend a whole day watching t.v. Actually it's pretty often. Depression is a silly little thing that just sneaks up on you at any moment. Though I don't find it that funny. I wouldn't say it was a bad day but it was just an okay day. You feel a bit sad and you don't know why... you may cry a smidge and there is no reason. It is a strange thing to deal with. Television is how I cope on a day like this. I take my mind and put it into these characters lives. I feel like I'm apart of it. Some people think that's dumb... but honestly this helps me. I get to experience these people's hardships and then their strong family bonds. Real love stories and the drama love triangles. I get truly happy for characters when the good stuff happens to them, I bawl my eyes out when something awful happens. But I always will find comfort in being apart of all of it. When I'm alone, they are there. Sometimes when I need them most to distract me from my life. They are just a click away...

- Christina

Relay For Life

Hey farmers,

   So today was the Relay For Life fundraiser hosted at Mooyah's. We were raising money for the relay race on the 29th! Supporting Team Chainsaw aka my bestie, Alex! It was a good turn out and raised a good amount.

   Now for planning for the actual event! I'm so excited, the theme is "A World Of Hope" so our team choose Bollywood, I am excited everyone liked my idea!! Everyone has great ideas for our decoration and what we sell! I hope we raise a good amount and I hope I don't pass out from walking all night... it's 8pm- like 6am if I remember correctly! So we get to dress up too! Which any chance I get I take it!!! So time for me to Pintrest and get crafting! I will keep you posted on any DIY projects!

xo Christina

Yay!

I can NOT wait for Alaska, that is all!

Quote Of The Day

Catstagram

Half bed half bench to keep him comfy and cool at the same time. He has his priorities in line! Baby Ed is adorbs! Love this stud!

Mug Of The Day

Mug Sean got me today at Michael's! I really do love my dog!

Anxiety Happens.

Anxiety... it is something very real.

   Some may be surprised but so many people, even those closest to you have it. Some people you'd never even guess suffer from it. For some it's hard to talk about, I'm pretty open though so let me tell you about these last few days.

   For myself, anxiety can consume a whole day of my life. As we know life is short. So I prefer my days to be happy and positive and not worrisome and sad.... though unfortunately, that was my past two days. For me it can be for literally no reason at all, or maybe it is and I just don't even know what for. Usually it is over something silly and shouldn't be making me go a bit crazy. But anyway, for this time, known as day one. I had just woken up at about 5 am with my heart racing out of no where! Then the really physical stuff starts to happen, and quickly. I get these terrible shakes, a fake out stomach ache forms, I get super hot or super cold (at times both) and my hearts hurts, and my breathing starts to make me panic since it feels like I can't. I then I have to wake up Sean, which I always feel bad about but I really need the help.


   We start by me taking my anxiety medication, I sit up straight, and sometimes he either will get me the heating pad for my stomach or a cold washcloth to cool me off. I usually run back and forth to the bathroom in panic of it just being a stomach ache cause my belly is just turning in knots or for fear of vomiting cause I get really nauseous. Though I rarely will throw up, thankfully! Cause that's just gross and makes it hard to breathe evenly since ya know,  it's hard to breathe through vomit nose... Sorry for that visual.

   Next I just need him to talk to me and distract me, Sean kind sucks at this, mostly cause he's half asleep so it's pretty understandable, haha! I just want someone to continually talk about some random topic to take my mind away from my thoughts, but it really hard to do on the spot. I try to talk and joke with him but it's hard since my throat will get extremely dry and I feel too sick to drink water. Sometimes I think I need something to eat but actually eating makes me sick. So we might go through Netflix and put on a comedy special. Sometimes that helps. They say laughter is the best medicine. The pup seems to worry so she ends up coming over for a snuggle... secretly I think she's a little more focused on getting those belly rubs! Sometimes I can calm it down to less severe of an attack within an hour. But sometimes it goes down after a few hours, but slowly and not as dramatic through out a day. Which kind of sucks because I get anxiety thinking how it will return!

   It's scary thinking of it returning when you are alone. It defiantly is the hardest to handle alone. Sometimes I fear I'll need to go to the hospital because I don't know what to think or do. Which then freaks me out more, it a lot of times slowly builds up by thinking about the "What ifs?" and the "Am I breathing still?!" So paranoia is one of the main causes (at least for myself) of a panic attack.

   Sometimes I can fully get rid of one in a short amount of time. That is truly the best! But that was not the case this week. So anyway like I was saying above, I woke up crazily panicked. Kind of startled me as well since I was dead asleep. This lasted (not as bad after initial 3 hours) all morning but calmed down a lot just before Sean had to go to work. I ended up taking a nap as he was leaving cause I was calm and super tired. Then sun was shining through the blinds relaxing me and the puppy and my cat, Eddy were snuggled close so I passed out right away. I was worried I'd wake up anxiety ridden and Sean wouldn't be there.

   I ended slepping from 4-6pm, then the pup woke me up for dinner time and it was still sunny out! And about a half hour of being a wake, not too much worry thankfully, my amazing man walked in surprising me. He was able to leave work early cause it was slow, which really helped keep this calm going a bit longer. Around 9 I started feeling my anxiety creeping back, slowly but I knew it was about to get cray cray up in here! So my awesome Brotherbear, Nick sent me two youtube videos, one a 30 minute cardio easy to do exercise bit, so I'd get my mind distracted and my endorphines to release! Plus even though you may hate exercise you have to admit you do feel glad you did it and have good mood afterward. Then he sent a 15 minute yoga thing, which I've never done before to calm me down after the workout. I have wood floors and no mat so sort of a bad idea but I proceeded anyway and it felt good to loosen my stress and relax the body and mind!

   Then Sean came and joined me upstairs so I wouldn't be alone as I watched a bit of tv while he video gamed on his laptop. Even if were not talking just having the comfort of him being there always helps. I believe support from others is one of the keys to working through an issue whether it be mental health or something like a stressful project for school. Support and a little love can go a long way.

   Now for day two's adventures of anxiety. I did not wake up from a panic attack as I was nervous about when I was falling asleep. Thankfully I passed out right away and slept soundly through the night. My alarm woke me. I pushed myself to go out, sometimes going out instead of being stuck inside is super important to get over this hump. I'm lucky that my mother picked me up at 8am and we headed to my sisters to clean (I work there once a month for some extra cash and help a cool sissy out!). It was the perfect day, the sun was out which defiantly helps me get out of bed more easily. We listened to music and sang our hearts out, we may be a bit obnoxious about it but it's the best! Whitney, you know were jamming to you!!

   After work Sean texted me to get him a change of clothes for Chris to pick up because they were heading to the skatepark after he got out of work. I decided, "Hey! I'm coming too!" even though I kept thinking maybe I shouldn't, but I KNEW I had to push myself and get out and probably end up having a good time. And I did! I tried, badly some skating but then ended up playing on the playground there! Feeling like a kid again and just laughing really can help bring me back to my normal self! It honestly helped so much and we all hung out at the house afterward and had a blast just chilling, listening to music on youtube and talking a lot (My favorite!). I am in a great mood now. And will now know again I WILL be okay. Tomorrow is another new day and I will start it positive. Mind over matter. It really is what I need to do, at least it's what I can hope for everyday, and that's all you can ask for.

   Now that I'm back to normal(ish) haha! I hope your day was positive, I truly do. Thanks for reading!

Love always,
   Christina

Pupgram

This lady sunbathing, she is so beautiful!

Happy Mom's Rock Day!

Hello to all the moms out there! And well anyone else reading this,

   Today was beautiful out! We had a cookout at my mother's house, all the aunts and cousins and everyone was there. I literally am obsessed with my family. They are just so awesome! I had painted cards for all the moms and the mom of all Grandma, she is so cute. I drove there also, which if I do say so myself is totally awesome, that drivers test will be coming up soon enough! I'm a driving phene nowadays, hehe! I had a lot of fun watercoloring last night. I have a passion for making cards every chance I get, and I love that people really do like them! Unlike when Dina use to make fun of my handmade cards and gifts, let's just say now she can't wait for them! Probably since I'm not in 4th grade anymore, so they may be a bit better! Here are the pictures of my hand painted cards, don't mind the handwriting I am TERRIBLE at writing, especially cursive! So just pretend it's not there!

Mom's was the best one of course! It's clearly a true statement! Next to that was my Aunt Jackie's she is just the best! And totally cool.

 This was a simple lilac watercolor design for my Auntie Sara. I really tried to do fancy handwriting... that failed, oh well. What can ya do?

My favorite design was for my Grams, she is the glue that holds this amazing family together! She deserves all the best. She of course raved about how beautiful it was! She's adorable! I love her tremendously. Obv. Below is Marisa and I, not only cousins but best friends! Lucky me!

   Below is my Uncle Frank, Aunt Jackie, Grandma, My mother, and Uncle Ray. All of her children, who will always still try to make Grams say they are her favorite. She NEVER will! "All love all my children the same" said in her sweet soft voice. But they all secretly think it's them... of course!

   Then it was cousin time! My favsies! My cousins and I like to do model shoot every time we get together. Since I have my professional camera always on me, it works out great! Plus I loved my outfit today! It was the first crop top and skirt of the season! Loves it. So here are some of the model shots we got! I think they came out fantastic! But I'm biased since I'm in them, haha!

   My cousin is so beautiful and quite the stylish one in her summer maxi dress, lovely navy blue and aqua color combo. I wore a lace button up front tie crop top with a high waisted midi skirt with a small slit on the side. It was this gorgeous reddish coral with white paisley print. Then we both just wore flip flops cause it's all about comfort of course!

Close up shot of this babe! Talk about naturally gorgeous red hair and green eyes! Below is Abbie posing with a watermelon smiling! It's so summery, I loved that pic!

Hair in our faces but I still really like this picture! Cousin love!

Pin up kind of pose. Haha, hey, I tried! I'm not a professional!

Myself, Marisa, and Abbie. Below is Marisa with her brother Brenden. Family shot!

Hope everyone else had a fun and loving day!
- Christina