Just like Alice, I'm in my own make believe world. Seeing things much differently then others. Depression is what seems to consume my life. I am lost in the emotions that take over my brain. Sad, happy, angry, excited, sometimes all at once with other feelings in between. Do the meds help? Or the therapy? Sometimes I feel as though I'm stuck behind the door as the evil queen of "depression" is coming after me but the knob won't let me through the door. Though I'm crying for help, can anything save me? I stay hidden away from the world to afraid to leave my comfort of my own home.
Though my house is filled with 8 people and a dog I stick to just myself and my sister. Senior year has ended and now I've become worse, school was something that forced me to leave my home. That's why I enjoyed it, seeing friends everyday and being an active member of society. Now I do nothing. I've only seen one friend this entire summer, my best friend. The anxiety of being lost here makes it hard to escape. Fear and paranoia consumes me. I'm so nervous that I can't do anything for myself. My biggest problem is talking to people I don't know, weather its at the cash register or at a party. I start to shake and panic. I become so hot and my ears mute everything around me. I hate this, I hate that I'm like this.
But maybe one day the Cheshire cat will actually help and I can go back to the way I use to be and wake up from this mess life has created for me.
1 comment:
As great as it would be for something to save you, only you can save yourself.
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