Girl are really annoying.

   How can anyone judge me or try being mean to me, they don't know me at all. They start talking badly about me, and don't even think of the consequences for their actions. Lucky, I don't give a two poops what there talking about but so many other girls out there aren't me and can take it much more seriously.

   It's ridiculous. If I don't like someone, I don't say anything to them. It's that simple. Cause in the end, I have no clue who they really are as a person or what they think inside their heads. I mean if people did something directly to me and I knew them well, then it's different, but I still wouldn't be mean to them, doesn't anyone know that saying anymore?! "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."

   I mean it's okay to stick up for yourself of course, if people are bullying you. But the people who go out of their way to try and hurt you, are pathetic. People are so disrespectful these days, everyone just needs to be a little nicer, maybe get to know people before you say you hate them, you might be surprised you might like them as a person.

the secret is...

Oh I love windy days where it's sunny, it's my fav to just listen to my ipod. Watch as everything dances to the music, and everything else is drowned out.  But today the sun comes and goes so it's not the best, but it'll do.
The Secret, a book I need to read, so will see how that goes. I hope it's good. Also I need other books too! Haha I've been having a list of books I want to get, I just need to learn to read responsibly. Lol.

On another note, I'm so excited for the wedding saturday, I can't wait to dress up all pretty, meet some people, and just dance the night away. Speaking of dancing I want to go to the club and just dance so bad, well I really want to go to a rave, but those are harder to find in CT. Lol. Dancing is my outlit for anything, to just feel the music enter my body and move me, everything else is just forgotten in that moment. I havn't really danced in so long, I'm craving it. So maybe Next week I'll go to upper and get my dance on with my cousin Lisa and her girlys or maybe I'll bring my friends. Who knows.
That's all for today, I'm out!

praying to a god that I don't believe in

going out every day as much as I can. FUN. Changechangechangechange.

Today/Wed.- Errands with Sean and seeing Amanda's new apartment with him.
Thursday- Thearpy, Hair dying, then out for the day/night.
Friday- Hopefully Nuno's partyyy is happening, if not I will find something
Saturday- Stacy's wedding, I can't wait to dance! :)
Sunday- Idk yet.

And hopefully next week Carly and Laura have a game night, those are the funnest. You laugh so much cause everything get's so intense and everyone is a lil dumb at times! Haha

nothing ever changes, I always remain the same.

Nothing ever changes, I always remain the same.
I feel my insides pushing against my skin,
My heart pounds so fast you can't even hear a beat,
Only silence is heard beyond the sound of my cries.
I open my eyes to a room.

My skin is hot, but I get chills along my spine.
I start counting, and counting, and counting.
Nothing works. I inhale and exhale, but nothing.
Wake up, wake up, this has to be a dream.

Hatred for myself, consumes me. Over takes.
Eats me alive, while I stand here,
Alone in this barely lit room.
Where am I, how did I get here?

I feel a haunting breeze upon the skin of my bare body.
A body that looks as though it's weithering away.
A pool of liquid surrounds my feet on the cold tile.
My thinned arms and legs drenched.
I rip and tar my hair out of anger toward myself.
This can't be real...

I try to scream for help, I run to the windows and bang on the door.
No one hears me or see's me. Or even notices, anything is wrong.
I see them, there right there!
So close....  just glance this way, please! I'm begging.
I can't be who I want to be here,
Just always the same thoughts and pain.

On the tattered dirty walls, were writings,
Covering every torn wallpaper and crack on them.
The words were awful and familiar, a story of a broken girl.
These carved words were so painful to read.
But all of a sudden it came flooding back, it was me...
My hands covered with blood, I carved these four walls.
Why don't I remember? I was here before...
Did I ever leave?

I close my eyes trying to remember how this happened.
When am I going to be set free. Get me out of here!
I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself.
I don't want to be here anymore.
I scream as loud as a I can.
I throw a metal chair at the big iron door,
the rust barely flinches to my attempts.
I collapse, tired and overwhelmed.
I drift into a mind game of sleep.

I hear nothing, I find myself standing in a darkly lit room.
Where am I, this place seems familiar...
Nothing ever changes, I always remain the same...

rain, rain, go away...

just don't come back, okay?

It's raining and it will be for the next few days. I hate rain mostly cause I get really bad headaches. As I have one right now. I don't know why I get them when it rains, I just do. Especially when in a car. But nope today I get when not doing anything. Maybe it's from lack of sleep, weird dreams, and having middle aged women hot flashes last night. I was hot one second and freezing the next. Life is odd.

This is a really old photo, but that was a fun day. That was my best friend Corrina, at her house on a day were the rain wrecked the town with branches and other things. I don't know why we went out in it. Lol. Oh look no boobs, those were the days of double A cups. Glad that's over.

Blah.

Today I feel annoyed, cranky, ugly, sleepy, hungry, and just yuck. That's me right now. Being a girl sucks.

And I really want some warm, fresh outta the oven, chocolate chip cookies. Please and thank you.

Sincerely, Christina

Quote Of The Day: Books

"Look, the point is there's no way to be a hundred percent sure about anyone or anything. So you're left with a choice. Either hope for the best or just expect the worst."


oh Sarah Dessen, you are one smart lady! Time to pick a choice. And I'm going to hope. For once.

-Christina

Amy

My tattoo artist, who will be doing most of my tattoos in the future.

She just did my two paw prints on my feets, she is super awsome. And really nice. I loved going to her because, it's so much easier to say what you want then at a tattoo shop. Can't wait for more. And yes I do realize this is a late post, on account of I got it done last week. Oh well.

4/20

LIKE OMG?! Let's get totally highhhh today, cause like I don't smoke enough alreadyyy, four twentyyy WOOTWOOT. I'm sososoooo cool. Let me put the date as my facebook status to be evennn cooler so everyone knows I'm gonna be sooo stoned today!! I've been waiting all year for 4/20, I mean I smoke everyyyday but like today is a better reason too!

(note my sarcastic tone) -__-

Duck, duck, ...

Silly Goose! That's me, as usual. Haha. Things I've been craving lately, here they are...

1.) Hot tea, it makes my belly all warm :]
2.) Summer, I want to sit by the pool, really bad.
3.) New friends, it seems like a good plan.
4.) Cheesecake or strawberry tarts, either or is good!
5.) To dress up, yay for Stacy's wedding on May 1st.
6.) To have a party, though that won't be happeningg. Maybe the rents will go to FL again soon!
7.) Where The Wild Things Are, I want to watch it so bad, it's such a great movie!
8.) Some new tops and tees. The wolves tee needs to only be worn once a week, not two.
9.) To dye my hair again, it's so much better dark.
10.) Sleepover at my aunt's, even though I was just there, I can't help it, I love my babies!

Well that's all for now. Maybe I'll come up with something good to blog about soon, I've been so boring lately! My bad. Oh speaking of slacking! I need a new video up on my youtube... mhm no ideas! Ugh.

silly dreams that make me worry....

   Ever worry about history repeating itself? I do. Especially lately. It's making me so paranoid. I really don't want to be. Things are mostly different, so I should stop comparing it to the past. But having ridiculous dreams waking me up with teary eyes, doesn't help at all. I hate feeling like everything will change and go wrong. It makes me so depressed! I don't think I can handle things going wrong again.  I don't think I deserve that again.

  

"Hey, what's up? Make sure to check out our pushems and bloomers"

   That is what I'll have to say when I start working at Gilly Hicks. This is kind of the last place I ever pictured myself working. I've only been into abercomie once, and not by choice! It sickens me, all their sizes are for 00's. And It smells in there, and alsoo it not my style really. But even though GH is a store from A&F I will be working there, thanks to my best friend Kim. That's the only reason I even applied. Their are alot of look requirements. I can't wear eyeliner or have fun colored nail polish, only pinks and reds, well I'm going to push that with neons! I don't mind the look things though cause I only like my hair down anyway. But every girl that works there, is a twig, I'm going to be the fat girl! Mama mia, I don't think I look like the average Gilly girl. But I am going to do my best, and hopefully make some new friends!

   Also on another note, I finally got my paw print tats! So adorable, I got to help draw them and place the outline on my feet! I'm really happy with how it came out. And I'm such a nerd, cause I am going to a Anime convention during summer, and I plan on going all out. Time to cosplay! haha. It's funny though cause I don't play any games or read manga, I mean I have before, but I don't go out of my way to. So since I'm dressing up as Vanille from FF13, I plan on playing the game! Will see how that goes, the only games I ever play are COD or skate games, and the racing games but that's only with the fun machine at arcades. Well that will be fun anyway.
   Life seems to be great lately.Everything just seems to be working out for me. I'm reallyreally happy, which is something very different. I just hope it stays great, knowing my luck it won't last. But I am hopinggg! Now to get the lisence! hahaha.

do you ever...

want things to work out sooo bad, it drives you crazy! haha. That's my life. Well for the most part. The job I really want needs to call me, I want to work with one of my good friends and meet new people. She says everyone there is super nice and the job itself isn't that hard. So it sounds like a perfect first real job. I need this job really bad. I wouldn't even have to be a cashier! Which is good, cause then I wouldn't want the job. Also peopleee, I always want things to work out with them, weither it just be a friendship or for a relationship. Either way I want it to just work out for me, for once. I want some new friends, and I want someone to love me. I want to just be happy.

ALSO getting my dog paw print tattoos monday!!!

So excited :]

Ignorance is bliss

enough said.

This could cheer anyone up! Oh Kramer.....

AGAIN?!

Again we might be moving, thanks to an asshole of a stepfather. UGH! He's never going to change. He just wants to be pissed and hating everyone all the time. To be happy is something he thinks is absurd. No matter what my mom or we do, he hates us. Thinks were just losers, even though we are probably better then most kids out there! asdfghjkl I'm done complaining, going to comfort my mom, again.

Happy Easter to everybunny :]

Yesterday was just delightful. And today I hope it just as good which it will be cause YAY cupcakes and dessert! Having Easter here with the family, then I believe I'm sleeping over my aunt's. That means I get to see sleep with my babies, Huddy will be so excited! I'm also wearing a skirt today, I lovee it, it was a a great skirt to by. I'm even wearing a tank top today. It's gorgeous out, thank goodness. I can not wait for it to be warm and beautiful out everyday, but lately it's been lovely! Okay I need to go! Have a great bunny day everyone <3

What a cute photo! haha

it feels like summer.

   Today felt just like summer, well almost. It was sunny and warm. I put on my short and a tank and tanned till 2pm. Lovely. Played music and layed out with my sister and of course the dog, she needs to sun bath too! Then I headed over to my aunt's house and hung out with them and the neighbors just like summer. Rode my bike with my cousin, then hopped up on the trampolin, and my legs hurt a little, on account of I havn't been active really since last summer/begining of fall. Winter is such a downfall on my health, especially around the holidays. Today was just an all together great day. I even saw my babies, Hudson, Mia and Kramer, the best dogs ever<3 Huddy was so excited he like cries when he sees me, that my friends is true love! He's my main man, always. So of course I had a snuggle session with him for a few, before I headed outside again. I hope tomorrow is just as great :] THEN sunday is easter, yay, desserts! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! Enjoy the sun, cause that rain was flooding my life! haha

OH p.s. I cut my hair, myself, niceee layers girl ;]