Anxiety disorder is one of the
most common psychiatric disorders in the U.S. with 19 million Americans
suffering. Anxiety disorder is defined by feelings of uneasiness, worry, and
fear. Anxiety is a normal human emotion. Some people will get it for things
such as public speaking, taking a test, or a first date. Anxiety disorders,
however, are different. They can cause such distress that it interferes with a
person's ability to lead a normal life. Welcome to mine…
It was so overwhelming to deal
with before I got help and went on medication I could barely function. I had a
fear of leaving my home, of big events, gatherings with people my age, every
thing. To many people it seems like something you should just deal with, suck
it up, just go out… it’s not a big deal. But to me it was so much more.
I would get panic attacks for
something a regular person would just be nervous for. I didn’t want a job for
fear of having to talk to people. I felt sick at the thought of trying to do
something that wasn’t in my comfort zone. Every time one hit, it felt like I
couldn’t even breathe, no matter how hard I tried. My lungs just stop working
and then my heart races so fast I feel like it will jump out of my chest. I’d
start to tremble, couldn’t even keep my hands still. I wanted to scream to get
this attack out of me. I’d start crying so hard I felt as though I was going to
throw up. I would curl up in a ball and would try to calm down. Sometimes I
thought it would be better just to go live I a physic ward and not deal with
the outside world.
Now I get a lot less panic
attacks, but I still have to figure out how to deal with my anxiety. I have to
push my self to go out and be social. My boyfriend really encourages me to
leave the house and do something, anything! Whether it be hiking, running
errands for just an hour, or sometimes going to the bar or a party. I had to
find the right job for me, thankfully I work as a nanny. Working with kids, I
never worry about feeling judged. They make me feel like the coolest,
prettiest, and funniest person in the world. I still don’t have my license and
still will panic when behind the wheel, but I’m trying. And that’s all I can
ask for. I sometimes will still have anxiety attacks when I’m sleeping or just
watching tv. My mind will wonder and over think.
When I’m having one I just
remember to breathe slowly in and out. Relax myself and calm down. I think
logically instead of letting everything be all scrambled. I take medicine when
I’m having an attack. And then it drifts away. I am so much better than I was.
It’s all about taking action to change your life! Don’t be afraid to talk about
how you feel, you don’t have to go through it alone.
xo Christina
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