I just got to push it out of my head....

   Insecurities are a miserable thing I hold. They take over me, and infect my mind with terrible illusions I really don't want there. Some are about my love, some about my family, and a lot of it is about myself. I cry because of dreams I have that involve some of my weaknesses. I know, I know, I know.... It's just dreams, they are just some silly thoughts, you know that won't happen. You know everything can work out.

   But why? Why would anything work out for me. Nothing ever has before. I've been broken, and I'm finally starting to put myself piece by piece back into a whole. It's taken me so long to get as far as I am now. I'm still not finished, but I am getting there. It's always a really hard thing for me to believe things are good. Every time I have thought that, it all came crashing down. And I was left alone and stuck in a black hole, that it seemed I would never escape. But I built myself a ladder, I started to climb. Each step was brighter looking then the last. I've been really happy, but now I worry for no reason that this ladder of mine will break and I'll be falling farther down then before. That just can't happen. I won't be able to handle it this time, I really won't be.